Things I want to do as a Professor

Being a part-time faculty member at a community college has plenty of benefits. I've done some cool things as a result of my position; free burrito at Chipotle on "free burrito for educators" day; I saw "Akeelah and the Bee" for free; um, I get to park close to my building... OK, I think that's it.

 

There's plenty of things I would like to do but haven't. I'd like to give a guest lecture at another school. I travel a fair amount, sometimes on weekdays, and if teachers at other colleges are anything like me, they'd like to be able to cool their heels for a class and let someone else talk. Mrs. Bart has pointed out, however, that this would require a great deal of planning ahead (not my strong suit) and me having something interesting / unique to talk about that a professor and / or class would be interested in (also not my strong suit).

 

I'd like to be an expert witness. I've wanted to do that for a while, long before I had anything to be expert in, but I think I have a real shot now.

 

Closer to campus, I think it'd be fun to sponsor a student organization. I don't know if you can do that when you're a part-time faculty member. And I'd need to make sure it's a good organization - don't want the FBI getting on me because some smart-ass student decides to start a local Taliban club.

 

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The Drizzle-dizzle

It's been raining for several days straight, and now we're down to a constant drizzle. The good news is it's keeping the temperature down, and the region needs the rain. The bad news is that all this wetness is somewhat annoying.

I'd like to throw more invective at the weather than "somewhat annoying", except (1) we're clear of August and into mid-September, which means Autumn approaches (yay!), and (2) I frequently spout off about the loveliness of the Pacific Northwest, that it's "God's Country", etc., and this is the kind of weather they get up there. So I'll just keep my yap shut for now.

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Jamaica-based confusion

I've been watching a lot of shows on Hulu lately, so I've been seeing more commercials than usual. I'm not a big fan of commercials, but this one is annoying the hell out of me:



I'm not annoyed at the commercial so much, but the underlying message. It makes me wonder: how the hell is Jamaica its own country?

I've read 'Brown Face, Big Master'. I know that there are serious, educated people in Jamaica. (Although if Joyce Gladwell's example is any indication, most of them have moved to England, Canada, or the U.S.) But based on their popular image, I fully expect that Jamaica's Foreign Minister looks something like T-Pain.

Anyone disagree?

Maybe I'm being unfair. After all, would we want people judging the U.S. based on its commercials? If we based our opinion of Japan on their commercials, I think we'd drop another nuke on them, just to be safe.

And maybe the foreign minister in Jamaica looks like the Red Stripe guy. That would be a step up from T-Pain. (It'd be a step up from Hillary Clinton, come to think of it.)

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My current creative endeavour

I'm sure you've all wondered why my blog posting hasn't been as prolific of late. I have some pretty exciting news for everyone. I had a really neat idea, and have been working night and day to bring it to fruition. My plan is to do a reboot of a classic science fiction franchise: the 2003 re-imagining of Battlestar Galactica.

I know what you're thinking: everyone loves the 2003 re-imagining of Battlestar Galactica. It's a legendary series in the annals of sci-fi. How can I possibly hope to top it? Well, the answer is that it's not about topping, or beating, or eclipsing, or anything else. I love this classic series too. I just want to update it and bring it into the present, while retaining the essence of what the 2003 re-imagining of Battlestar Galactica is.

Check your pre-conceived notions at the door, because this isn't your father's (or possibly older brother's) 2003 re-imagining of Battlestar Galactica. This series is going to be darker and more brooding. The Apollo / Adama relationship is going to be strained right from the get-go, despite the fact that they have to work with each other to save humanity. Tigh will be a real ball-buster in this version of the show. Heck, I might even make Starbuck a woman! Can you imagine? Still cigar-chomping, banging anything that moves, and getting into scrapes, but a woman. And Baltar... that son of a bitch is going to be completely off his nut. Not the moderately quirkly Baltar we've come to know and love, but genuinely goddamn crazy.

The Cylons? They were never cuddly, but sometimes they were comic book villain-y. Well, this time they're going to be downright satanic. I'm going to pull up short from making them vampire or zombie evil, but they're going to be bad news for humanity and its remnants.

The rag-tag fleet occasionally looked like it would be a nice place ot stay. No longer - my vision of the reboot of the 2003 re-imagining of Battlestar Galactica is going to include a rag-tag fleet rife with ethnic and religious strife, equipment malfunctions, personnel problems, and an overall lack of hygiene. Not to mention running short on spare parts and fuel.

I think you have a pretty good idea of why I'm so excited. This new vision of the 2003 re-imagining of Battlestar Galactica is going to introduce this storied franchise to the next generation of fans, and re-ignite the passions of fans of the old series.

Plus, there will be a ton of nudity.

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Jayne can type!

I've loved Adam Baldwin from his various film and TV roles (esp. Major Casey in 'Chuck' and Jayne in 'Firefly'), but I was having a hard time separating the characters from the actor while reading his op-ed on the Obama education broadcast today. Look, it's well thought out, a very nice piece overall. But while reading it, I couldn't help but picture Jayne from 'Firefly' reading it to me in his halting and abrupt manner. Maybe he's playing with a knife while he's reading. And at the end, I thought, "Holy crap, Jayne can type!"

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Bart goes to White Castle

It's funny that I lived in the midwest for years, yet it's on a business trip to Minnesota that I finally try White Castle for the first time.

Let's be honest. It's not that great. But, it's unique, and I figure, why not try it?

The iconic exterior:

 The meal in question:

 

And some clever, vintage-style advertising in the restaurant (see what you miss when you drive through, people?):

 

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Nervous Nelly

Before I travel, I'm almost always a nervous Nelly. No, not that Nelly. He should be nervous about my mad rhyming skillz.

Seriously, though, most of the time before I leave for a trip I'm nervous. Doesn't matter if the trip is for business or pleasure, near or far. I think there's two primary fears going on: the fear that I'm forgetting to do something before leaving, and the fear that I'll forget to take something that I need. Both fears stem from my other mad skill: procrastination.

Fortunately, the ability to bring a laptop and an iPhone have cut down on my worries. If I forget to research a bit of information, or I need to access an e-mail, no problem.

I should have plenty of exciting (or at least "as exciting as it gets") news to report from the Twin Cities over the next few days, so stay tuned!

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