The right way to schedule hearings on global warming

If you're a global warming enthusiast, and prone to hold conferences or hearings on the subject, surely by now you've realized that there's too much potential irony in holding such a hearing during the winter, right?

Maybe not.

Look, some dude from NASA says there's only 4 years left to save the planet (although per Al Gore's Doomsday Countdown we've got 7 years - these guys need to coordinate), but even so, stories about global warming hearings & conferences getting iced / snowed out will always get top billing. So wait until summer to have them. Summer in D.C. is so miserable that you can just point towards the door and say "shouldn't we be doing something about this?"

Check out the rest of my blog!

First-class dilemma

Tonight is the first night of the new semester for me. It's the fourth time in as many years that I will have tought this particular class, so I don't have to do much more than check last year's notes and show up on time. All that and I get paid, too :)

 

I do have a dilemma during the first class of the semester, however: I always want to make a good impression. And, I want to make an accurate impression. I need to convey that I'm smart, have a sense of humor, want the students to show up for as many classes as possible, and don't sweat the small stuff. My record on conveying this is probably mixed, since I think it usually takes a few classes before the students really pick up on my lazy-faire vibe.

 

Seriously, after tonight, these kids (I still call 'em kids, even though most will be older than me) will only have 22 more sessions with me before the class is over. I'm not bustin' chops here. I want them to get in, learn what they need to learn, and get out. And not e-mail me every time they're going to be late because they have to pick their kid up. Stuff happens, I get it.

 

Well, no sense in working myself up unnecessarily in advance. I'll try to achieve mellowness then head out to my classroom to make sure my key still works. (A first- or second-year adjunct would have come to campus ahead of time to check. But like I said, it's not my first rodeo.)

 

Check out the rest of my blog!

My Googling skills are insufficient

I wish I could find this quote, but clearly my Googling skills are insufficient.

During one of the Democratic presidential primary debates, each candidate was asked to give his or her priorities for their first hundred days in office. I remember Bill Richardson's answer being the most blowhard-y. This was his approximate response:

"Day 1: restore America's standing in the world. Day 2: restore honor and dignity to the White House. Day 3..." and so on. Ridiculous, far-flung, non-specific answers. Especially considering that Day 1 is a half-day, and there's a lot of paperwork and social functions to attend to.

Ooh! I seem to remember John Kerry saying his first official act as President would be going to the floor of the United Nations to declare that America was ready to rejoin the community of nations. Belated blowhard award of '04!

Now I'm waiting for the various pronouncements. We knew that "Change was coming." Now, per the White House web site, we know that "Change has come to America." I'm sure at some point we will be informed that "America's standing in the world has been restored." I'll be curious to see what official act (releasing terrorists, mandating an end to all Carbon Dioxide emissions, de-annexing Louisiana) leads to that particular pronouncement.

Check out the rest of my blog!

Enough from the kids

One thing I don't need to hear any more of on this sunny Inauguration Day: suggestions from kids as to what the President should have on his to-do list. It was moderately amusing and barely tolerable on McSweeney's... in the "Inauguration special" podcast from This American Life, it was intolerable because the letters to the President were being read by the kids themselves (so I fast-forwarded to the next segment)... when I go to the web page of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram and see "Hey, Mr. President, here's what Fort Worth-area kids want you to fix," I immediately tuned out. Done.

How many times to I have to say it? Kids are stupid. Yoda may find their minds wondrously uncluttered (and therefore able to solve basic astrophysics problems), but if we're not rapping about Star Wars or Harry Potter, kids are going to be out of their element. Kids are also annoying. Parents think it's cute to have their kids sing, or do a dance, or a skit, but it just makes me uncomfortable and want to leave the room.

9-year-olds don't understand separation of powers, checks and balances, or the Electoral College. And until they do, they should stay out of the presidential advice game and stick to letters to Santa.

Check out the rest of my blog!

Note to self, re: resumption of blogging

Note to Self: break out of those holiday doldrums and start blogging again!

Note from Self, back to Bart: Who do you... I... see... look, pal... when I'm good and ready!