Artist Profile: Bart

Many years ago, I tried my hand at painting. What can I say, everyone else (aka my sister and my maternal grandmother) was doing it, and they were good at it. So I figured, why not?

My first attempt was... well, I'll classify it as "not bad." "Passable," even. It's currently hanging up in our half-bath, so any visitor taking a whiz at Chez Bart can take a gander. The second attempt was "not good." The third was "straight up bad." I'm not sure how one gets worse with practice, but it worked that way for me with painting and golf. My first game was my best ever.

Given my lack of artistic prowess, I never expected to win accolades, or prizes, or have my art displayed in a museum. That is, until I heard about the MOBA. No, not the MOMA. The MOBA. The Museum of Bad Art.

They have two branches in the Boston area, and are not above rescuing artwork from the trash in order to add to their collection. They also accept submissions, so I decided to take a picture of my 3rd painting and send it in. Here's the picture:

And here's the e-mail I sent:

Hello,

I'm curious as to whether you would consider the attached painting to be bad enough for your collection. It is supposed to be my red-haired wife (girlfriend at the time) sitting cross-legged on a beach. People have asked me if it is supposed to be a sombrero.

Of particular note:

-My choice of blue for the sky didn't quite cover the color of the primer (you can see some pink showing through)

-My poor attempt at shading beneath the subject

-My cunning attempt to blend my initials into the patch of green plants

Thanks!

And here was the reply:

I like the pink showing through the sky blue - it looks like a sunset or sunrise scene. There are other technical problems with the painting; her hair color, the one-dimensionality, etc. I think this would make a fine addition to our collection, which already includes a number of beach scenes. I have attached 'On the Shore at Sunset', which is featured in our recent book Museum of Bad Art: Masterworks. 

Sweet. So, all I have to do is make a writeup about the painting's provenance and send it in. And then I'll take my place in the ranks of the bad art world.

Just to think: all of you knew me when.

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